Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Randomize
