i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Walk of Shame today included voting.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
