Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
