Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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