I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
