I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
