i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
