What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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