I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
