Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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