So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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