we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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