Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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