Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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