This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
