She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
