do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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