ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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