im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize