I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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