remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
