white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
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