tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
What a dumb baby whore.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
