I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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