Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
sex in a hospital.. check
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
