My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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