Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Brb crying the tears of my youth
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
