I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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