OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
