I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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