Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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