Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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