haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
No subtext here. People are naked.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
