Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
