Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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