Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
