im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
