Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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