Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
