it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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