I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
no. you can't hotbox the world.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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