We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
