party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
