my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
