Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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