my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
