Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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