the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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