Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
All I want is dick and wine.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
