Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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