I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
