No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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