I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Randomize
