The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
