You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
