p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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