I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
