Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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