trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
