forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
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The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
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The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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