my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
