PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it was like his penis was on wheels.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
