There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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